Patricia Pong

I want to thank Jesus, to whom I presented my petitions, through Mother Mary. He answered my prayer.

My Church friend asked me to join CER-26 to experience God’s love. I knew that deep inside of me, I had a lot of hurt, anger and fears. I wasn’t sure if I could ‘let go’ and forgive my loved one, and I arrived at the retreat with an open mind.

On the 1st day, when prompted by Fr. William to ask ourselves “Who am I?” my response was: an angry girl full of hatred. “How did I end up in this state?” I asked Jesus later during the Holy Hour. I felt such pain and anger, and I feared something might happen to me. I could not forgive myself for my faults.

Then, I saw a vision of Jesus with His outstretched arms in the Blessed Host. I closed my eyes, and when I looked at the Host again, Jesus, arms outstretched, was still there. This lasted for more than five or 10 minutes. I felt a beautiful sensation…some inner peace, lightness, calm…I can’t quite describe it now. I felt Jesus was trying to reach out to me.

During Holy Hour on the 2nd day, I asked Jesus why my life had turned out that way. “I am very frightened, Lord”, I confided. Then, like the previous day, I saw Jesus, arms outstretched. And it finally dawned on me: Jesus was asking me to return to Him. I could turn to Him the way sister Jenny, who shared with us her touching life story earlier that day, did. Jesus was waiting for me to pour out all my anguish to Him – and I did so, unburdening my pains, hurts, anger and fears, my tears unstoppable.

Before the rite of Reconciliation on the 3rd day, we spent quiet time with our Lord. Again, I saw the vision of Jesus with outstretched arms. As I started to pen my feelings to Him, I began to weep uncontrollably. I told Jesus I did not have the strength to hold on to Him. I pleaded with Him to hold on to me instead. I love our Lord, I love Jesus, and I yearned to have a childlike faith again.

After Confession, I went to the grotto to say my penance. Before burning my list of petitions, I prayed to Mother Mary, asking her to intercede for me by bringing my petitions to Jesus.

On the last day, during Holy Hour, a ‘child figure’ appeared to me in the Host. When Fr. William prayed over me, I began to pray in tongues, and I also rested in the Spirit. A message came to me: “Can you see the child in the Host? I have answered your prayer.” Jesus had answered my petitions so quickly through Mother Mary’s intercession, and I cried and cried for joy.

Jesus spoke to me one more time during Mass, after the Communion service. Since I’m a child, He said, “How can I not hold your little hand?”

I now know that Jesus has never forsaken me. It was I who did the forsaking four years ago. But He will always love me.

Praise The Lord!

Patricia Pong
CER 26